I've been pretty bad at blogging lately. There's been a lot going on, certainly some legitimately interesting things (or so I think), but I've been too insane/manic/depressive/hungry/tired/anything else you can think of to sit down and do it.

Now is the time!

Going way back, Thanksgiving (my GOD) was a lot of fun. It was great to be home-- I had been really looking forward to it and was so happy to be in my house, in my old room, with Slinky, with a real kitchen, with a bathroom that doesn't make me into a rageaholic every time I try to take a shower. Most of the extended family was there and I was so happy to see them. Fun things included eating way too much, eating some more, verging on barfing a million times, antagonizing the Guba's dog, eating still MORE, and playing Balderdash with a combination of people who didn't understand the rules, people who understood but had no regard for the rules, very Christian people, drunk people, and people who didn't want to be playing.

A highlight was going, the day after T-giving, to The Newest Lunch in Schenec and 'secretly' 'flirting' with all the guys who work there. This has been going on for approximately six years. They must know. There are a lot of them; Ange is my main crush. When he says "Hey, how you been?" twice a year, my heart goes pitter-pat. My family makes fun; but my crush on the hotdog man is all real. Some day! I'll tell him my love. Until then....I'll take one with everything.

After Thanksgiving, my insanity incread 450% because time started to run out before MY READING. Which happened two days ago. In the week leading up to Tgiving, I spent a minimum of four hours at Cafe Grumpy in Greenpoint, scraping together change to buy cups of coffee, ripping my hair out and doing a lot of agonizing over the three words I'd manage to write. I didn't do a lick of work over Thanksgiving. When I got back to New York, I realized that the new draft still didn't have an ending and that I was in big trouble. However-- I put one together, the folks at La Mama assembled a cast, and we made it through the to day of the rehearsal. I had only a few nervous breakdowns along the way.

And then it was Tuesday, my birthday, and the day of the reading. It's easy to guilt people into coming to a reading that they wouldn't necessarily come to when it's ALSO your birthday, I have to say. My parents were there, as well a many, many of my wonderful friends from all different places-- work, school, shows, etc. I can't imagine having another birthday when I might have so many people that I like in one place. The reading went as well as I could have hoped it to go. I was pleased. And a wreck. I wrang my hands, bit my nails, and compulsively took off and put on my sweater during it. I was flushed and my heart was beating out of my chest. I haven't been so worked up in a long, long time. It felt good. At the end, I was brought onstage while people sang happy birthday, which embarassed me to no end, and which made me turn even redder. Then there was a short, relatively painless talkback in which I attempted to walk the line between charmingly self-deprecating and impressively cool. Uh, I think we can all guess which one I veered more towards. Talkbacks are the devil. The only good part was the lights glinting off my sweet kicks. I liked that.

Some folks went out for drinks afterwards, and I had a great, great time laughing and drinking and eating cookies (my mom made some shaped like Lincoln-- do you see where I get it?). My parents gave me too many presents, including a pair of saddle shoes. They are fucking awesome. (I had a fit last night at the pizza place by my apartment when Nitz and I spotted a hipster girl at the next table wearing a pair. I was like 'NO! This was going to be MY style! How dare the hipsters co-opt it already?!)

So, now I'm 23, have cool shoes, and know that I have a lot of really awesome friends. That's good.

I think I'm slowly crashing from the nervousness/excitement of the past few weeks. The proof? I slept about 12 hours last night and spent today in bed, watching Arrested Development. Indeed. Painting my nails was my biggest accomplishment.

I don't know what's next for me. I know now for sure, though I've known it before, that though it makes me insane, I'm definitely WAY better off when I'm working really hard on something. I should do something new.

We'll see.

Christmas is coming up soon, which I can't believe. Despite attempts not to, I'm falling into the trap and getting stressed out about it.

In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of his finest roles, I need to "CHILL."

Finally: We've gotten two letters to Santa here at work. The first one was from a girl who was writing on behalf of herself and her two younger siblings. The second on is from a 2-year old (a likely story!!) who asks for clothing and toys and ends her letter this way:

'Please Santa make my wish come true. I will really apprecaite it. This will be the best gift ever for Christmas and for my birthday that's in December 11th and I'm turn 3. Thank you so much. I love you Santa. I wish you a merry, merry, merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.'

I'm not sure how these people confused a beat off-off Broadway theatre with the North Pole-- perhaps it's the red facade?-- but these letters are too cute to be true.

Rain! Go away!

I'll mention this a million more times over the next two months, but...

A date has been set for my reading!

Come see (or hear):

We Things That Are Now
by Yours Truly
dir. Craigy Mungavin
Monday, December 8th, 7:30 pm
La Mama Experimental Theatre Club
74 East 4th Street b/w 2nd and Bowery
Free! Free! Free!

And then come party for my birthday afterward.

If I axe you-- excuse me-- if I ASK you to be with me, by and by...

Today was a big day of extravagance-- mostly seeing 'Rent' with my mom and her friend (and her daughter and friend) on the Great White Way.

I have to admit I was a little--okay, more than a little-- reluctant/nervous/curmudgeonly about this whole endeavor. My mom really loves Rent and I used to really love it too, though as the years roll on I love it less and less. I suspect this has something to do with attending theatre school. Pretentiotron, reporting for duty! So I was sort of feeling weird about it.

And I have to say... I was totally surprised! It affected me much, much more than I thought it was going to. The cast was really top-notch (with the exception of Roger, who was played by some not-even-cute British indie rocker who couldn't sing or act), and included, much to my surprise, the delightful Michael McElroy. I've been listening to his voice for approximately eight years (unbelievable) on the original cast recording (I should say "one and only cast recording") of Violet. For the few readers of this blog that I DIDN'T go to high school with, Violet is a truly beautiful musical that was done off b-way by Playwrights Horizons about ten years ago. We did it at SHS when I was a freshman and it was a big deal then, for me, and it's still abig deal when I think about it. It's always meant a lot to me, and seeing Michael McElroy today (he's Flick, Erin and Jess....hahaha) was wonderful in the most unexpected way.

Anyway, some parts of the show I still maintain are kinda dumb, but I can't resist all the faux-punk costumes and the jumping off tables and the singing homeless people. Michal at work finds it apparently disgusting that I should have enjoyed it, but I don't care. In a situation where I was prepared to grin and bear it for 3 hours, I'm really glad that I actually just let myself enjoy things.

Doooooooooon't worry! Dooooooon't sweat it!

(I wanted to go up to him and be like "Do you want to sing "Luck of the Draw," maybe? Just a little bit? Or how about "Bring Me To Light?")

And of course it was nice to see Jane. She bought me a purse shaped like a chicken.


Then, I went to La Ma Ma to see the closing perf. of "Imminence," a show by The Talking Band. I was unfamiliar with their work but after seeing this show I am determined to work with them. They are AWESOME. Sort of like the SITI Company combined with the best parts of Michael Kaye's Theatre Ensemble. The non-self-indulgent parts. In a good year. Ok, during Interpreter of Maladies.

Pretentiotron, REPORTING FOR DUTY!

I'm going to Boston on Wednesday. For rehearsals. A secret: I'm a little bit terrified. We'll see what happens.

That's the way it's played, brother.

insert fire pun HERE.

An eventful day!

1) I am now the "Certificate of Fitness Holder" for FDNY exams F-90, F-94, and F-33! But you can just call me Fire Guard. Or Fire Drill Conductor. Or person in charge of visually mainting fire alarm systems. (That one isn't as catchy.) I took my tests this morning at 9 MetroTech Plaza in downtown Brooklyn-- which looks strangely like downtown Albany. I was there for about three hours, all told- an unimaginably complex shuffle-dance of getting a number, filling forms out, sitting, going to a window, getting a new number, going across the hall, sitting, waiting....over and over and over. All that matters is that I got my stinkin' certifications. And now I can stop worrying about it.

2) Nitz came over in the afternoon. We kvetched and went to Peter Pan for donuts. Delicious.

3) I worked my first legal shift as House Manager tonight.

4) Aldo gave me a bunch of books yesterday, including an amazing copy of The Postman Always Rings Twice. It was meant to be-- I am seriously in love. It's the pulpiest pulp I've ever read- if Clifford Odets had a lovechild with whoever it is that James Ellroy modeled himself after. It really is coming at the right time- I've been thinking about reading some James Ellroy lately-- it's always a process (wow, this is interesting for other people)-- but this is better. I mean, I KNOW I'm a sucker for stuff like this, where people talk in sentences that sound like machine-gun fire, and everyone's always punching each other. Here's an part that made me grin:


"That's what we're going to do. Kiss me, Frank. On the mouth."
I kissed her. Her eyes were shining up at me like two blue stars. It was like being in church.



And that, folks....is that. Now, excuse me while I go snuggle up with my electric blanket and the aforementioned book.