Electric Crazy

Apparently the facilities manager for the Schenec School District is batshit insane and since being arrested on the 20th of February, has been shuttled around from jail to jail. He's nuts. They found this memo that he wrote to a newly-hired employee, and it is amazing. I hope this is big enough to read and enjoy.

Chew every word.

If I was King Lear, this is how I would describe when you could next find me buying sushi from Trader Joe's again: never, never, never, never, NEVER! (Whenever I think of that line, I think of poor Peregrine Devlin saying it at the end of 'Theatre of Blood,' as the knives are coming towards his eyes! Aie!) I don't know why I buy it-- ever since Catherine, illustrious bassist for even-more-illustrious ska band extraordinaire Captain Destructo and the Armageddon Horns, went on a twenty-minute rant about how shitty it is (this is nigh on four years ago, mind), I've had some sick compulsion to try to prove her wrong. Catherine will always be right.

This mugginess is killing me already. I sweat doing nothing. Yesterday, I went to yoga and every time I did a downward dog, I wad blinded by my own sweat rolling into my eyes. Ugh. Yoga was a farewell date for Katy and me-- she heads to Rio for three months on Sunday. Today I took a nice stroll around Soho/into Little Italy (reminiscing about Schenec's own little Italy, of course: though it hasn't been nearly as impressive since the gay bar Blythwood closed three years ago, a restaurant, two bakeries [one of which really only deals in lemon ice and mob hits, as far as I'm concerned], a biker bar and a funeral home DO constitute a cultural district of sorts...right?); saw a lot of rich, good-looking people and hated every one of them (I'll never be anything but a stormbird in various stages of disguise, I guess); made mad dashes to the Strand (for "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris), Fishs Eddy (eeeeek father's day presents) and Trader Joe's (accompanied by anxiety...assuaged when the girl directing people to registers told me that my shirt was sassy) and NOW, now, millions of parentheses later, I am at work for the most pointless shift ever. Ending at TEN.

That was really obnoxious. Congratulate yourself if you actually read that.

A few nights ago I saw "The Country Girl" on Bway. Obviously I'd wanted to see it since it was announced months and months ago, because I want to see anything by Mr. Odets. I bought the script at a bookstore in my neighborhood shortly after moving to NY, but never read it. And then I dragged my feet about getting tickets, and had all but forgotten about it. And....I don't know, maybe it would have been better that way. I certainly enjoyed going, I always enjoy seeing stuff even it's crap and I wind up infuriated ie "Rafta, Rafta" at the New Group a few weeks ago. It was wonderful to see Frances McDormand. I think she's a really good fit for this type of play, and I'd love to see her play Bessie Berger in "Awake and Sing!".... in about twenty years. I think she'd be fantastic. Morgan Freeman did not thrill me in any way. Peter Gallagher was doing a sort of schticky, slicked-back hair, smooth-talking turn, but I can't say I didn't enjoy it at least a little bit. Please. I have to fight the urge to imitate Jennifer Jason Leigh's speech patterns from "The Hudsucker Proxy" every time I open my mouth, see?

Tommorrow I'm getting on a bus in the wee hours of the morning, getting picked up in Albany (Desolation Station, eh, J. Knudsen?) by G-pa, hopefully conning my gparents into taking me and Maddy to lunch at Peter Pause, swinging by the old alma mater to get the latest gossip from Mssrs. Dugan and Ziskin, and then, HOPEFULLY, logging some quality time on the floor of my room listening to Hair and Elvis Costello on vinyl with Slinky. Phew. And then begins the extravaganza-- Albany Area All-Day Singing on Saturday, social afterwards, then brunch/singing/Flag Day parade at Jesse's in Troy (Collar City for those in the know) on Sunday.
If you made it through this mess, look at these amazing photos as a reward (thanks to Boing Boing):

One with Dinos

One with a Monocle (bought at Daffy's?)

Amazing.

Oh good LORD!

So when I was in elementary school, there was this kid named Tyler Holmes that was one of my friends. He had an awful home life, super-deadbeat parents, was always kind of dirty...the whole nine yards of badness for a kid. But he was a sweet boy and my parents liked him and tried to help him out with stuff once in a while. Tyler and I were in class together most years I was at Elmer (I think Justin can verify that). I think in fourth grade, Tyler gave me this necklace on Valentine's day-- he came to my house, I can remember him giving it to me on the porch. I don't remember much about it other than that, except that I was utterly bewildered/terrified of the whole idea and I gave it back to him. My mom thinks this story is hilarious.

Anyway, Tyler never made it to high school and we sort of lost track of him, though Regina and I would occasionally wonder what happened to him. Then, about two years ago, some crazy dude tried to snatch a kid off a lawn on Elmer Avenue, failed, got chased by the cops, and finished said chase by climbing onto the roof of the President's house on the Union campus. (At the time, that was Roberto's house....insane.) Needless to say, the coppers got 'im and locked 'im up. Needless to say, this crazy dude was Tyler. Gina and I jokingly contemplated visiting him in jail, but again, needless to say...never did.

Two days ago my mom sent me a clipping from the Gazette with the following note attached: "Looks like he was out of jail for a while, anyway!"

MAN FACES CHARGE OF POSSESSION
OF ILLEGAL SHOTGUN
SCHENECTADY--A local man faces a felony weapons charge for allegedly possessing a shotgun. Police on Saturday responded to 839 Eastern Avenue for a report of a man with a shotgun. The man left the scene and went to Park Avenue.
Police spokesman Lt. Brian Kilcullen said officers found Tyler Joseph Holmes, 22, of Eastern Avenue with a shotgun with the barrel cut by 17 inches and the stock cut down for the purposes of concealment.
Holmes was charged with felony third-degree crininal possession of a concealed weappon, misdemeanor criminal possession of a weapon after having been convicted of a felony and a violation offense of unlawful possession of marijuana.

Welcome back to the game, Tyler! Seriously?

C-c-cold.

I left the house today and remembered that it is actually better to go outdoors than to sit at your desk/lay in your bed for over 24 hours.

The most exciting moment of the day, thus far, came during my visit to Sunrise Market on St Marks. I found, completely unexpectedly, my most favorite of all oddball delicacies- COFFEE JELL-O! You thought it didn't exist, right? That is, you thought it didn't exist anymore- not since the days of Jell-o molds at the BRTC softball games and Plymouth Rock brand mixes from the Niskayuna Co-op. But you were wrong! God, it's delicious. It's pre-made, not a mix. And, get this- each individual cup comes with....MILK! Insane. Amazing. I can't believe it. (I know that none of this means anything or makes sense unless you went to high school with me. Just trust that this is an incredible discovery.)

So, Jesse and Carrie have posted what I think is a really fun and cool way to share some of the music that they wrote over the summer on their tour of New York State. Check out this song map and listen to some tunes. (If you're gonna look, go to Schenectady (yellow dot) and listen to "Died, 1825," which is a really charming tune about a mock-funeral that Union College boys held on the opening day of the Erie Canal. I'm singing in the recording but I'm in no way audible. Just pretend you can hear me.)

I think I'm going to a free reading tonight of a new play at The Mint. What? Theatre? What I'm here to do? Yeah right! Didn't I move here to answer phones and watch tv?

Ridiculous.

Sometimes, I think of things I've done in the past, or places I've been, and wish HARD that I was doing that thing or in that place, instead of being where I am or doing what I'm doing at the moment. Right now, I'm thinking about the pond that Julie took us to in Maine this summer. The water was so unbelievably clear and warm, and I just swam for hours and hours. I wish I was doing that right now...in the sun. Oh, how lovely.