This is a Formica tabletop.

Oh lord. Well, it's futile to hope that I will be able to put down everything that I've been doing lately-- slacker alertttttt. I'll do my best.

So the night after darts and margaritas, I went out with my friend Matt and some of his friends. This is the Matt that I staged managed for back in November, and he is supposed to be going to South Africa at some point this summer to work on a movie. There've been a lot of holdups and now I'm not sure what's happening, but this was a goodbye-for-the-summer party. I worked until ten, then went to meet him at a schmancy uptown lounge where my drink was more than I want to spend on food for a whole day. But I got to hobnob with funny people and feel vaguely special, and hear hilarious stories to be used as blackmail fodder when Matt gets famous and his current become his detractors out of jealousy or bitterness. From there we took a harrowing cab ride to a trashy bar on St. Marks that is owned and presided over by a terrifying person who Michael Peterson and I refer to as Johnny Cage-- this because we spent a scary long ride on the subway sitting across from him, frightened that he was going to kill us. JOhnny Cage seemed appropriate. And then we come to find out that he owns this bar. Of course. Annnyway, at the bar we met up with a whole bunch of Matt's friends from school that I had never met, so there was a lot of "Hi, what do you do? Oh, and where is that?" talk going on, but it was exhausting bc it was hellishly loud in there and I was just yelling and yelling. BU! YEAH, BOSTON! Right. And then it was home again, home again, jiggity jig, to go to sleep around 3 for the second night in a row.

The next day, Erin and Molly and I went to the Brooklyn Flea market in Clinton Hill (um, my new favorite neighborhood....does someone want to give me a cool million so I can set up shop there? Thanks!) and bought various and sundry junk. I bought something amazing. I post a picture later-- that's all I am at liberty to say right now. It was really cool-- lots of good vendors of different varieties, mostly really good stuff. I'll definitely go back. After this, we hit some stoop sales, walked in a very roundabout way to Fort Greene, and then I went over to Chelsea to see Lauren. We gossipped, further worried about how we're going to get kicked out of a camp (now less than a week away!) and ate tacos. Free chips at Burritoville? Satan. Then we went back to my apartment and wrote notes on the flyers for the NYC Sacred Harp All-Day Singing...the issue is that though I know who a lot of people are, they have no idea who I am. Or, as in some cases, I remember them for a very specific, small reason which they have no doubt forgotten-- for example, one guy will live forever in my mind because he publicly declared a song I led a "train wreck." I'm sure he forgot it right after it happened, but....let's just say there might be a horse head in the envelope holding his flyer.

After lots of flyering, I met up with my family that was up from Florida at Spice Market in the meatpacking district. Ooh la la! (Incidentally, Spice Market is where Molly filmed her episode of Gossip Girl [as an extra]. Hilarious.) I can't even think of the last time that I saw my aunt, my uncle, and my cousins-- so it was really great to see them for a little while. My cousin Leah joined, too...I have no excuse for seeing her as infrequently as I do except that I'm lazy. There's a big family party happening this weekend which I can't go to because I'll be en route to Alabama-- so they'll get to see each other more...but I had to do a lot of catching up over one dinner. Our food was funky and good, and the place was really beautiful. My cousins are so grownuppppp, it's really strange. It was a lovely dinner. Afterwards, Leah and I went down to the East Village for a drink. It's nice to hang out with her. Also, I can't stay away from East 4th street if I try, apparently!

On the way home, I had a little bit of a conniption fit/seemingly mysterious emotional incident. I think I was staying up too late too many nights in a row and drinking too much and that it caught up with me. I am not impervious to these forces. Sometimes I forget that if I don't take care of myself, I won't feel good. I mean, duh. But when I'm doing it, that thought doesn't occur to me. But I got home and forced myself to watch Arrested Development until I crashed, and the next morning I forced myself to call Nitz so I wouldn't lay around moping all day. I went to Fort Greene and we lounged in the heat, Craig appeared out of nowhere and Julie gave me an exploding chocolate bar. Big doings, big doings! Then I went back to the burg, rented Fire Walk With Me, and went to Queens to watch it with Erin.

That movie. Is. INSANE.

GIVE ME ALL MY GARMONBOZIA!

Really, it was insane. It was like every terrifying and gross thing from all the episodes of Twin Peaks put together into two hours of nonsensical, maddening, and sometimes anger-inducing footage. Some of it was wonderful, either in the way that the show was great or in a different way. Some of it was awful. Some of it was ridiculous. For some reason, I had it in my head that some of my questions would be answered. Obviously, I was on crack thinking that David Lynch was going to help me out in any way with this movie. I should have known better! It was a lot of Ray Wise, so that was good-- lord knows I love Leland Palmer a lot. But I missed all of my other favorite characters, and it just frustrated me and made me watch the show. Super weird.

And yesterday, I tried to start cleaning/packing/all that shit that I haven't even thought about. I am starting to get nervous about my trip, going to camp, and the attendant logistics. Which I haven't figured out at all. So instead of actually relieving some stress by taking care of things, I shunted it to the side by getting sushi with Craig, lounging in the Sheep's Meadow in Central Park, and then going up up up to 107th street to the million dollar apartment of two New Year's Eve's ago for a birthday party for Therese. It was AMAZING and so many people from school, from a bunch of different years, were there. I haven't seen such a big group of school people since graduation. It was terrific.

And finally....this week, you can see me as an extra in The All-For-Nots! Watch episode 15A and keep your eyes peeled for the disaffected, vaguely lesbian hipster dressed like a sailor...it'll be me. And while we're on the subject of the AFN-- they're playing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight. Amazing! Check it out. (The bad news being that you'll have to endure Mike Meyers before they play, so...be ready.)

I think that's it.

The same old way...

Indulge me in a minute of brain-picking ranting:

I'm getting so if I don't have to work, and I don't have anything planned, I get a little panicky. THIS is how much I've let myself neglect myself. While it's unrealistic to assume I would spend every waking minute that I'm not at work pursuing my career/art/whatever (ok, it's really not that unrealistic), I should hope I'd spend SOME of my time doing that. I mean, for me. Jesus! Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? Isn't that what I WANT to be doing? But all I do is watch tv, cross-stitch, mope around at the computer, have solo dance parties, or let the dirty dishes pile up around me.

The point is, I think, that I need to maybe adjust my attitude about solo time and try, just try, to be a little more motivated or productive. Or, at the very least, be easier on myself when I'm not either of those things. Because if I"m not doing anything, I may as well try to feel okay about it.

Right?

Man, I don't know.

This being said, I've been lucky to see friends lately. After work on Friday, I took a walk with Ben and ate some Pomme Frites. He was dropping a play off in the LES somewhere so he stopped by. Or maybe it was: he was dropping a play off, and walked by. I don't know. Either way, it was an interaction far more pleasant and civil than any of our previous ones, which was good. Yes, good. After that, I went to the Strand and blew $20-something on books and some squared Moleskines for x-stitch charts. Then I went to Forbidden Planet and bought the newest American Splendor. Some part of me really loves going in that place and looking at the bizarre mix of people in there. Fanboys and girls, Japanese cutie pies, fat old dudes, hipsters, all kinds. I love it. Then I read A.S. in Union Square while a man in a suit stared at me. For half an hour. Stared. At. Me. I tried to ignore it but eventually it became too much.

Craig got out of work and we met up but he had a searing headache and I was tired of carrying my books and we couldn't agree on anything to do so it looked like a classic Anna/Craig passive-aggressive encounter was about to occur, but he finally gave in to the temptation of Red Stripe in my fridge and came back to Wburg with me. Gossiping and drinking ensued.

Yesterday, I had a brief but fun visit with Joanna and Justin, singing friends from Boston. We walked around Thomson Square Park and they expressed shock and horror at every hipster/weirdo we passed. They don't coime to NY much. He doesn't leave the plantation much. :)

Today, I met up with Emily (one night only, folks!), Julie, and Molly for breakfast at the hip and delicious Egg on North 6th. We had to wait about 45 minutes, but it was no big thing and we were obviously happy to catch up while waiting. I had eggs and grits and they were....mmmmm. Uh-huh. It was wonnnnnnderful to see them. After, Julie and I went to Brooklyn Industries where I bought a bag, thinking "I'll return it in a few days, when common sense kicks in." Too bad she stamped FINAL SALE on my receipt. Looks like I'll have to keep it. Rats.

Tonight was work, watching tv on the computer, reading boring boring boring verbose thick unexciting (but I am halfway through so have to slog through) "Atonement," and eventually drinking beer with Chriz and Elliot, listening to Lily Allen, in the box office. I get paid for this? Give me a break.

Now? Twin Peaks.