Cats on Leashes!

Oh, for the love of god! I can't even keep up with this stupid blog. Which is ostensibly written for myself. Sort of. I mean. It's written for you. (And you. And you!) Whatever, anyway, I've been working on the most epic post ever about my terrible/wonderful night at La Mama but it got so long that I felt like I would be imposing on cyberspace to post it. So here I'll just blurt out everything else I want to say.

Sondre Lerche has a wonderful song called "My Hands Are Shaking," shaking from "carrying this torch for you." Unrequited/unfulfilled love in a cute Norwegian accent. One of the lines is "My sheets are tearing, from sleeping in too long, sleeping in too long with you." Well, I certainly have been sleeping in, though not with you (or you, or you, or anyone else), but when I woke up this morning, my pillowcase had a big rip in it. I don't know.

A few days ago, I was leaving Erin's apartment and it was kind of drizzling and I was kind of sad, I don't remember why (I'm not sure I knew at the time) and I was walking to the train and an old man who had nice clothes on and a hat was approaching the corner at the same time I was. I stopped so we wouldn't run into each other, and then he looked at me, tipped his hat, and let me go by. I immediately got a huge lump in my throat, and choked out 'Thanks' before passing him. I don't know if it was because it was such an unexpected moment of niceness, or because he was so cute, or what. Again...I don't know.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Craig, walking around Fort Tryon park, arguing about where the Bronx starts and Manhattan ends, and marvelling at the fact that he has a couch and two armchairs in his room. In his room!! Not to mention a bed and a tv that's about as large as my stove. We saw a lady walking a cat, on a leash, in the scurf next to the road, underneath a construction site....near to where someone's tire had been somehow ripped off their car. This city, this city... Then I got a call telling me I didn't have to work, which was a wonderful surprise, so I went to dinner and a movie with Nitz, Miss Molly, Craig, and Julie. We saw 'The Band's Visit,' an Israeli movie from last year, and it was greaaaaaaaaaaaat. Then we all went to Molly's and drank a lot of cheap wine. So many nice surprises yesterday. I DO know that.

Our eternal houseguest has departed. I can't say I'm sad. So I won't say anything.

The weather's been nice and a little disorienting. Two days ago I was too cold to take as long a walk as I wanted at 7:00. The day before that, a stroll at 11:00 was mild and lovely...after the monsoon had ended, that is. Today is gloomy.

Here's a sample of what I've been eating lately. I am taking a page from Joseph Cornell, from the looks of it: doughnuts from Peter Pan. Star Crunch cakes. A beer milkshake. Sushi. Candy. Bowls of cereal at midnight. HobNobs. Endless cups of tea. I'm going to disintegrate! No one can live on a diet like that!

I'm going singing tomorrow, which I'm really, really happy about. I can't stay the whole time, and I have to run right from there to the lesbian extravaganza of stress at LM, but I am glad to be going at all. I keep thinking of a line from a song in the Sacred Harp: "Give me a calm and thankful heart, from every murmur free." They're talking about Jesus, of course, but that doesn't mean that I have to be thinking about Jesus when I say it!

(Then again, I don't know if I really want a "calm" heart. Only sometimes do I think that would be nice. Generally, I think I am appreciative of my manic, frantic heart.)

Ahhhh! There is cereal to be eaten. Goodbye!