Hold up!

JESUS CHRIST.

This week has been completely draining in a totally weird way. I don't work that many actual hours-- I clocked in at 33 this week-- but something about working at night, at LM, makes me feel like I've been beaten with a cane every day. I'm only slightly exaggerating.

And today? Today was quite literally one of the craziest days of my life. OH MY GOD, the crazies were out in FULL fucking force today. I can't....there's no way I can do it justice now. Tomorrow, I'll write about:

-drunk girl
-Civil War guy
-pince-nez guy
-the worst man in the entire world
-moral quandries

Oh, and how my gran got mugged today.

"My skin is getting pale," says Jack White!

I skipped a lot of good details in that last entry. Like how my night of boozing in the burg ended with Lauren, Matt, Lauren's friend Sachar and me playing two games of EROTIC PHOTO HUNT in the back of Alligator. Sachar is unbelievably good at it. Maybe she practices at home?

Also how Matt, Michael, Chris and I spent the second day of "shooting" on 9 Times thinking of names similar to "Rip Torn" in which the last name is a word describing a condition resulting from the action of the first name. This quickly proved too thought-intensive and we settled for the formally-imperfect Cut Stabbed, Tussle Fought (prep school name 100%), and the favorite Simmer Boiled. Say it Tsimmer Boyld and you'll feel like you're in Brookline.

There's more, but my electric blanket is waiting for me and I'm sure, just sure, that you won't hold your breath until I fill you in.

seven of cups.

I'm not going to stifle this urge to ruthlessly self-promote; it occurs so infrequently in my life, and I could really use it more. So-- keep checking out Slinky Calhoun! Erin and I have been adding new stuff almost every day.

I finished shooting "9 Times," the internet-interactive-murder mystery-noir-choose your own adventure-crazy thing I was doing at Nola Pictures with Matt, Chris, and Greg. In the second day of shooting, I got to shoot someone, take my shirt off, and be dead on the floor in two different scenes. Hi, ho! The glamorous life. Really, it was fun and I'll be excited to see what eventually comes out of it-- I have no idea what it could be.

Diane Lane came into work the other day. She's really hot.

Yesterday, I went to Fort Greene to see Nitz. We RAN INTO Craig as we were eating breakfast-- he said, nonchalantly, "Well, I LIVE in New York now." (Follow his example.) Then I did a brief, unpaid stint as her unofficial personal assistant, helping her get through a list of errands that needed to be done before work. We met up with Katy and acted like MORONS in Washington Square Park, which was....wonderful. A guy made his dog do tricks for us. And then he stuck his tongue in its mouth. I am not exaggerating.

Day before I took a really nice walk over the Williamsburg Bridge in the morning. (The company was lousy, but hey, you can't have everything.) This took me to Pearl Craft to purchase a GLUE GUN. My life is now better. (On the way, however, I saw a bunch of posters for the Mark David Chapman/Jared Leto is fat movie. I AM HORRIFIED. I had sort of forgotten about it. Well, mostly, I'd forgotten about how Jared Leto drank microwaved pints of ice cream to prepare for the movie and gain the weight. COME ON, JARED LETO.)

And before that? I went out for a nice night with Molly at a yuppie beer bar by her apartment. She said "This is like our corner bar. So I come in here in sweatpants and then I look around..." It was great to see her, to see her place, and to venture above 14th Street for once in my little life. The night before THAT, I went out in Wburg with my neighbor Matt Raibert. We met some of his friends for free beer at The Lazy Catfish. The lovely Lauren and her friend joined us, the fesitivies shifted to include free pizza at Alligator, and I went to bed later and drunker than I have in a while. (Which isn't saying that much, really. I'm losing my EDGE, guys.)

(Please.)

Ah! And. Our eternal houseguest, Ethan, fixed our shower. It is like a normal shower in anyone else's apartment now. I can't believe it. It's amazing. However....That being said-- I sometimes find it hard living with people. And two roommates in this tiny apartment? I am not-so-slowly losing my grip. Something's gotta change. Even if the shower IS getting fixed and giant pots of vegetable soup are getting made and the morale is higher than usual.

Other than that, I am working all the time. And spending my money on frivolous things like clothes and candy. I never used to buy things! And now I do. I guess that's fine. I can do whatever I want.

That being said, the icy grip of anxiety is creeping around me a bit about my month in Boston. It's rapidly approaching! I'm worried about 1) throwing a lot of money essentially down the drain while I'm there. 2) the play. I don't get that shit! Caryl Churchill, why you gotta be so crazy? 3) acting, duh. 4) various undefined unknowns. I'm sure they'll get clearer as time goes by. Someone suggested I not 'look it in the mouth too hard,' and I'm trying to follow that line of thinking. On paper, it should be amazing. So why am I so nervous?

Today, Rinnz and I are indulging in some craft & retail therapy before I go to work. This life of waking up late, easy work, and no ambition really wears on me.

I'm only SORT of kidding.

:D

In a hilarious and unexpected turn of events....people are actually buying stuff from SlinkyCalhoun!

too much.

I've been blogging for fictional characters lately, and... that's sort of more fun than blogging for myself. I guess I like any opportunity to be completely goofy without getting eyerolls.

But anyway... there's lots to report!

Last Friday, I did EGBDF at the beautiful and weird Town Hall. Sam was confused and went to City Hall and was late for rehearsal. Yup, I mean the actual City Hall. Yup. Backing up--Jane arrived in the late morning and took my keys while I went to rehearse. She bopped around the city and I didn't see her again until after the show. She had a good time shopping and buying food and exercising her NY expertise muscles. Cute.

Rehearsal was long and fun. Pan-Pan introduced me to my new, pointy, three-inch stilettos...my worst enemy. (Saturday I felt like a cripple.) We goofed off, navigated the impossibly crowded stage, cracked mutant jokes, and spent time harassing each other in the dressing room we all shared. Wonderful. Jess & Mikey, Anna & Ian, and Erin & Jessie all came to see the show!

After this, there was an awkward InCite Festival "Wrap Party" where I stubbornly refused to schmooze, instead making gag nametags with Jason and Nitz. Tom Stoppard? Phylicia Rashad? Supoopi Pontain, Dave Rosenblatt's girlfriend? Oh yeth, oh yeth.

Then Jane and I trekked back to the Burg. I was in a FOUL mood about god knows what until we ran into Mr Isaac Klein on the subway and he cheered me up. Foul mood returned when I slept on the floor listening to Lucifer yowl all night, continued through getting up super early and getting on the Chinatown bus, and lifted, finally, after getting a nap. My mom deals with a lot of crap from me. :)

We got to Boston in less than four hours and took the T to Qunicy Adams, where my Uncle Peter picked us up and took us to the Wilson homestead. Gordie, Grace and my dad were already there, followed shortly thereafter by the carful of Gubas, headed by a RAGING Uncle Chris, irate over missing their exit and driving an hour extra. Most of the menfolk then headed off to watch Cousin Matt play rugby...which resulted in Matt getting 8 staples in the top of his head. Frankenstein. What followed after was an orgy of food, family, fighting...no more alliteration, for the love of god, Anna! But yeah, lots of eating and drinking and yelling and stuff, both in public (restaurant; IKEA in Stoughton) and at home. It was wonderful.

Sunday morning we followed up with a massive and long brunch, then eventually I went back into Boston with the fam and then took the Chinatown bus for the second time in 36 hours, back to New York. Then I layed around and did arts and crafts and watched tv all night. Glorious.

Monday...I lounged around in bed in the afternoon. Then I bought jeans. Jeans. I bought jeans at a store. I went shopping and came out of that store with a pair of pants. WHO AM I?!

Since then, I've been working weird shifts and not really getting enough sleep and certainly not getting any work done.

Wednesday, I met Nitz and Craig at Via Della Pace because Tara and Heather were both working, so we sat at the empty bar and let them booze us up for several hours. It was really nice, but it's been a while since I've had two cocktails on an empty stomach at eleven o'clock, so I was a little drunker than I thought I should have been on the way home. I'm not sure why I felt that was relevant to include...but it's the Internet. Whatever.

Someone asked me the other day if something, I forget what exactly "Was sort of a waste of space?" And I was like ".....it's the INTERNET. The whole point is that you don't have to worry about 'wasting space.'" I know that's not entirely true, but come on.

Thursday, Jess came over to the Burg and I gave here the grand desolation tour...Domino, etc, and then we ogled the Hasids and ate hamentaschen and challah. Then we made a hellish trip into the bowels of the Union Square Forever 21 so I could buy some clothes for this thing I was supposed to be in on Friday. In line, discussing the issues of one of our dear guy friends, the woman ahead of us turned and said "Girls, I can't help but overhearing. Let me tell you-- they're all screwed up. You have to be bitches to them. I been married three times. The first one, I was so nice to him and he left me for another woman. Then I think, I'll go back to school, turn my life around...all of a sudden it's "I love you, baby. I love you." You have to manipulate them...but with a smile on your face. They're just thinking about themlseves....eighty percent of the time they're thinking about *it*, and if it's big enough, if they can get it up for long enought....all the time!'

Etc. You get the picture. We smiled and laughed and fidgeted...I guess I can say that her heart was maybe in the right place I don't know.

And then yesterday I was in this bizarre thing with Matt Nasser, Greg Hildreth, and Chris Oullettee. Matt's friend Pat works for some studio, or post-house, or something-- I wans't really clear on what they do. Anyway, he was making, I guess for them, this interactive, choose-your-own-adventure, murder mystery thing for the Internet. I have no idea what the story is because the script was in no sort of order, and I haven't shot all of my scenes yet, but basically, I'm Crystal, the blonde secretary. And the gimmick of it is that it's shot entirely from above. Silly. The MAtt and Greg show is one I haven't seen for a while, so it was a delight to lounge around this totally hip UNion Square office, eating free candy, getting paid for saying like three lines. If that's showbiz, kids....

And today...I'm seeing Gypsy with Isaac! Hooray! And then working, but of courrrrse. And tomorrow, working.

I gotta be more concise.

Shop Slinky Calhoun!

it's one o'clock already?

My life is weird in a wonderful way.

The other day, I did manual labor in an industrial building-turned-theatre/rehearsal space in DUMBO. My arms are still aching. My "boss" said "You are a valkyrie!" after I moved a bunch of cinderblocks. I hope it was a compliment. I took it as such. I mentioned it in an email to my mom and she was like "Warehouse work? What?" and then laughed when I told her about it on the phone. I yelled "WHAT?! I can do stuff like that! I can carry stuff!" (A la Crispin Glover? "I'm strong! I can KICK!")

Then the hordes moved in from Boston. And what pleasant hordes they are! I saw showcase on Tuesday night, with a whole bunch of friends, and it was really nice. The Class of 2008 did a lovely job and seemed to be having fun....which is more than I can say for myself at this time last year. Ugh, showcase. Then we went over to Fort Greene for gossip and Chinese food....as Nitz said, 'Wouldn't it be nice if our lives were always like this?"

Yesterday, Jason and Craig and I took a series of sight-seeing strolls. I dragged them to the south side of Williamsburg (I didn't make them walk to the water to see Domino up close....I'm learning that's it not the hot tourist attraction for a lot of people that it is for me), where we ate hamentaschen... then we took the J to Canal and wandered around Chinatown, into Soho, into the West Village...Jason was cute and kept insisting on looking at the map to understand exactly where we had been walking, how we got there, etc. There was a lot of vehement statements from me, saying things like "We're walking SOUTH! I'm SURE of it!"which generally wound up being completely wrong. It was really nice to see them. Jason said he didn't care where we went, because it was just fun being together-- and he had his tongue in his cheek but I think he meant it, too. And I had to agree with him. Now, will all of you just fucking move to New York? THANK you.

I DRINK IT UP!

I saw There Will Be Blood the other night and that was the source of a lot of argument. Craig hated it and kept bringing parts of it up and saying "Okay, but seriously...wasn't ridiculous? Come on. Come on." Jason and I just smiled calm smiles and yelled 'I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!' a million times.

Then we went to the Helen Mills Theatre to see Sow and Weep. This is the third time I've seen the show and it really gets better and better and has GOTTEN better and bettter. When I think about the first draft that I ever saw, I am absolutely amazed at the progress Nitz has made. It was an alumni extravaganza and we all went out afterwards. The bartender forget about me, so I didn't pay for my beer. Karma? I don't know. I talked Presidents with Paolo, had pleasantly civil conversations with Ben, reveled in the glory that is Ava, and generally had a lovely time.

Then...then...then I took a cab home! Travel stipend, what what?!

Tonight, I see Katy's show. Tomorrow, my mom comes in the morning, I go to rehearsal at one, rehearse and rehearse until 8, which is SHOWTIME, then go to the "wrap" party, then get on an early-morning Chinatown bus with Jane (hoooooo boy), go to Massachusetts, party, party, come back on Sunday.

I am exhausted and exhilirated thinking about it already. I have so much to look forward to for the next couple of days, and I am trying to slow down and enjoy it.

Good.


DRINK IT UP!

Check it out:

The All-For-Nots!


Hooray.





(Also, please be sure to use your internet-savvy and click around to find Larry Hu's blog. It's partially-written by a really super-talented, beautiful, and creative BU grad that lives in Williamsburg whose middle name is Wilson. I don't know any more than that. lolz, lolz. But, uh....really.)

My heart beats so that I can hardly speak...

So many things to talk about.

First on the docket is this hilarious NY Times headline:
"Text Generation Gap: U R 2 Old (JK)"

That just made me laugh. A lot. It's the capitalization that makes me hysterical.

Anyway!

Reaching back a few days ago...

On March Fourth (the date is important later), I ventured into Long Island City, Queens, to Exile ("a Tammany Hall facsimile") for the first annual members-only party for The Society for a Subliminal State. Phew. The Society, founded by my dear friend Jesse and his friend/partner in crime Carrie Dashow, is the umbrella under which he conducted his tour of New York State this summer....where he wrote shape-note music about the Erie Canal. (Obviously, I loved this.) I became a member this summer and was invited to 'march forth' with them into a new year of subliminality. Or whatever that word would be.

What is now Exile started out as Peretti Hall, a hangout for mobsters, bootleggers, and wild folks back in the thirties and forties. It's a big old building that has a stage on the second floor, and a really beautiful hardwood bar with red, white and blue mirrors (installed when the Democratic party in LI City was in with the mob) behind it. The building deteriorated after days as a disco/punk club but has been revamped and now is sort of a live-in studio for a wide variety of artists, musicians, and the like. Needless to say, this place is crazy. (There was a black velvet painting of Vincent Price on the wall-- I was in heaven.) There were taxidermied crows, paintings of clowns, ancient display cases for theatrical posters filled with weird foreign-film paraphernalia...all sorts of crazy things.

I made the famous coconut cake (box cake, sweetened condensed milk, cream of coconut, toasted coconut, whipped cream....Justin says it's banned by the Geneva Convention) and met Lauren so we could go together. She brought a whole chicken. I brought my chicken purse. Bok bok. (Corny?) We arrived in time for some drinks (I favored "The Escarpment," which was Canadian Club Whiskey and VERNOR'S!) and the potluck, where we all introduced ourselves and told each other news. Lauren and I created a drinking game-- drink at the mention of any of the following phrases/words: vegetable-oil-powered car; biosphere; sustainable agriculture; green; environment; etc etc etc. We drank a lot. I said "Um.....I'm in a show? At Town Hall? Stoppard....?" We sang songs from the summer tour, went on the roof to admire the skyline, took the Subliminal Society oath, and listened to a lovely and thoughtful set from Nina Katchadourian and Hannah somebody, who played, among other things, Rocket Man, a song with lyrics taken from "Six Easy Pieces" (think isotopes), and a musical version of some hippy-dippy thing Jimmy Carter wrote to send into space. Amazing.

And I trekked back to Williamsburg, late in the evening, with the delightful Matt Raibert (who said our adventure was like "...the time they go to Queens on The Burg-- do you watch the Burg? You should. It's funny.") We tossed around words like 'profligate' and 'skinflint,' debated whether it's necessarily insanity that causes us to think we know everyone we see, and were basically goofy.

All in all: lovely.

And then I went to Boston.

So, I understand that if I lived in Boston and worked (didn't work, more like it) there and had to deal with it on a daily basis, it wouldn't seem like heaven. But coming from here, now, it seemed a little bit like the Promised Land. A land filled with Russian candy and iced yerba matte, burritos from Anna's and only a handful of fixed-gear hipsters. And a stupid public transportation system. I know I made the right choice in moving out of Boston, and specifically in moving to New York. I know this. But I have to say that surrounded by my friends, walking through Coolidge Corner and being back at CFA....it was tempting to just say "Hell, I'll just move back here. It's PRETTY here."

But really? I don't want that.

I had rehearsal right after I got there on Wednesday and it was surreal- trying to recall blocking from a year ago so that I'd fit in to what they've already been rehearsing for a few weeks, trying to remember the lines I recently dusted off in my brain...but also, it was sort of like I went back in time to the first time we did the show. All the same stupid jokes and silliness. Only this time around, Jim is 50 pounds skinnier.

After this, I went to Sunset for booze with Jeffry, Jason and Dave. We had the worst waiter in history who gave me $20 when I asked him for change for a ten. I felt guilty and returned it and the way he responded made it seem like it had been a test. Perhaps it was. Perhaps. It. Was.

And then the night was taken over by dinner at Tani's apartment in the South End with many friends, eating ice cream and watching "The King of Kong," which is now one my favorite movies. It is INCREDIBLE and I can't recommend it enough. I slept there (didn't sleep-- Karl and I stayed up half the night re-creating our stupid 'newlywed couple' routine that happens when we sleep in the same place) and in the morning we glutted ourselves at Charlie's. Then we walked around the South End, went leisurely shopping in Coolidge Corner, ate Russian goodies in a park...basically, had a delightful time.

And.....this is boring for anyone but me. Moving on!

Nitz and I saw Karl's show at BPT, "Gary," which was really interesting and full of stuff. And Karl played the bass in it and looked unbelievably cool. Yesterday I had lunch with Gordie ("Boston is kinda corny," says he) and Grace, then had four hours of rehearsal, tried on my sexy but stern, strict but attractive suit, and ran to the bus. I was home before midnight and fell asleep watching Garp. Life is good.

Today I ate pizza in the rain and had a crazy attack of sadness that lasted for about half an hour. And now I'm at work. The wind is making the door creak. I wish I had some candy.

Oh, also. My picture was in the NY Times. My head was as big as half a pea, but I was in there. Here's the information for my show:

Every Good Boy Deserves Favour
at The Town Hall
Friday, March 14th
8:00 pm

Ticket info:
http://www.bu.edu/cfa/incite/tickets.html

Let me know if you think you want to come. It's a fun show, it's short, and Tom Stoppard might be there. (If he is, I'm going to flash him from the stage. I told Jim and he said "Well, I'll be in the bar, so...")

And that is that.

ah! ah!

My name is on Broadwayworld.com. When is this likely to happen again?!

If I axe you-- excuse me-- if I ASK you to be with me, by and by...

Today was a big day of extravagance-- mostly seeing 'Rent' with my mom and her friend (and her daughter and friend) on the Great White Way.

I have to admit I was a little--okay, more than a little-- reluctant/nervous/curmudgeonly about this whole endeavor. My mom really loves Rent and I used to really love it too, though as the years roll on I love it less and less. I suspect this has something to do with attending theatre school. Pretentiotron, reporting for duty! So I was sort of feeling weird about it.

And I have to say... I was totally surprised! It affected me much, much more than I thought it was going to. The cast was really top-notch (with the exception of Roger, who was played by some not-even-cute British indie rocker who couldn't sing or act), and included, much to my surprise, the delightful Michael McElroy. I've been listening to his voice for approximately eight years (unbelievable) on the original cast recording (I should say "one and only cast recording") of Violet. For the few readers of this blog that I DIDN'T go to high school with, Violet is a truly beautiful musical that was done off b-way by Playwrights Horizons about ten years ago. We did it at SHS when I was a freshman and it was a big deal then, for me, and it's still abig deal when I think about it. It's always meant a lot to me, and seeing Michael McElroy today (he's Flick, Erin and Jess....hahaha) was wonderful in the most unexpected way.

Anyway, some parts of the show I still maintain are kinda dumb, but I can't resist all the faux-punk costumes and the jumping off tables and the singing homeless people. Michal at work finds it apparently disgusting that I should have enjoyed it, but I don't care. In a situation where I was prepared to grin and bear it for 3 hours, I'm really glad that I actually just let myself enjoy things.

Doooooooooon't worry! Dooooooon't sweat it!

(I wanted to go up to him and be like "Do you want to sing "Luck of the Draw," maybe? Just a little bit? Or how about "Bring Me To Light?")

And of course it was nice to see Jane. She bought me a purse shaped like a chicken.


Then, I went to La Ma Ma to see the closing perf. of "Imminence," a show by The Talking Band. I was unfamiliar with their work but after seeing this show I am determined to work with them. They are AWESOME. Sort of like the SITI Company combined with the best parts of Michael Kaye's Theatre Ensemble. The non-self-indulgent parts. In a good year. Ok, during Interpreter of Maladies.

Pretentiotron, REPORTING FOR DUTY!

I'm going to Boston on Wednesday. For rehearsals. A secret: I'm a little bit terrified. We'll see what happens.

That's the way it's played, brother.

Currency C-c-craziness!

If you look on the back of a Susan B. Anthony coin, you will see an eagle--an eagle that appears to be violently landing on the MOON. (There's a tiny Earth in the background.....easily distinguished by Florida.)

Why have I never noticed this before?

Coworker Chriz says, in response to my incredulity about the reality of the above situation:

"You'll see. In a few years, there will be an eagle on the moon. And you'll be eating your words."