Now, let me get this straight...

Clay Aiken had a baby. Well, okay, Clay Aiken is the *reason* for someone having a baby.

(Okay, I shouldn't say it like that, either-- who knows how many babies were made while listening to "Measure of a Man?" Right? RIGHT??)


But seriously-- Clay Aiken and some woman...some woman named JAYMES...just had a baby. I don't understand this on any level. Clay? Jaymes? A baby? This is an equation that doesn't check.

Clay, oh Clay of my youth, where have you gone?!

(Really, I mean-- "obviously" this is some sort of thing where his friend was like "Oh lord, Clay, I'm gonna be an Old Maid, my clock is ticking, help me out here." And Clay being the nice guy, or the total FREAK, that he is...decided to help. What I want to know is if they did this the old-fashioned way or with the help of the medical establishment. Which is so far beyond being none of my business that it isn't even worth mentioning.)

Also, I realize I might be putting my personal integrity on the line by even speaking about this man. You must understand that senior year of high school, which was the second season of American Idol, my friends and I were absolutely obsessed with it and specifically with Clay. The best memory from that time, for me, is that the day after he lost was the day that my parents and I had to go in for a disciplinary meeting. For me. I was in twelfth grade, let's remember. Smooth L had screamed at me one too many times in Wind Ensemble and I finally let her have it...with only Akil as a witness. (Happy birthday, by the way, Mr. Middleton!) Anyway, I was dreading this meeting in the first place, and then on top of it all, Clay lost. That was also the day that the infamous/famous CFA class pic, which I will post (tinily) below, was taken. If you have good eyes, and can get past the fact that I'm wearing khakis, you'll see that Em and I are wearing Clay buttons. I imagine that Becky and Jess are, too.


Oh, boy. Clay. Where have you taken me?!