Better yet-- I'll wear shades on sunless days.

For once, I'm happy to say that things have actually been going on. I've been doing stuff. Hard to believe, I know, but....sometimes the seemingly impossible can occur.

Monday night, rehearsals started for The Civil Wargasm. I didn't really realize it or admit it to myself before they began, but I was really pretty nervous. I did a lot of fast and dirty rewrites on the play, and before now I hadn't touched it since I was in London, and even then not really. I always read everything out loud and of course I know how the Platonic ideal version sounds, in my head (I just struggled to come up with "Plato"-- my instincts first said "Diogenes? No....Hegel?"), but hearing it read by actual people is always different. But Pat has assembled a good cast and they all seem psyched to be there and about the material--one of the actors bought Confederates in the Attic! Cute. I was running on hyper speed and made at least five un-funny jokes about doing crack and things like that. Hilarious.

Before rehearsal, Erin and I made an exciting trip to Pearl for some arts-n-crafts nonsense and then met up with our Mormon lookalike buddy, Professor Andrew Clayman. He really looks Mormon these days. We had a surprisingly less-than-excellent dinner at Excellent Dumpling House (Erin fretted: "This is NOT a good Excellent Dumpling House initiation for you, Andy!") while catching up on who's got kids (one of Andy's students is pregnant and we were reminiscing about the old days of girls doing crossword puzzles in gym class...or playing ping-pong) and who's in Schenectady blah blah blah. It's the same conversation we always have. It's cute to see Andy these days because we all always joked that all he ever wanted to do was become the new Doctor Wolos and thanks to something, possibly good karma, that's essentially exactly what he's done. It's nice when things work out well for people. (But only people I like, of course.)

Yesterday, I went to a brutal yoga class where the teacher actually touched me-- this usually doesn't happen because the classes are so big and there's no way they can pay attention to everyone. But I lucked out and got their early enough to be in the totally La Boheme upstairs studio-- you can see rooftops and chimneys out the window--with the crazy crazy man who is some sort of BMOC in the world of Yoga to the People. As usual, I thought I was going to die, but felt great afterwards. All the instructors have their own spiel and he likes to talk about doing what your body wants to do-- and he said "Why not let yourself be guided by what feels amazing?" And I wanted to yell "Hear, hear!" It's something for me to aspire to-- so often I guide myself by what feels horrible. Why? Why do that? Seek out the good.

I got a text from the illustrious Gabe Levey yesterday asking if I'd read stage directions in a reading he was in later in the night. I said yes, and though it eventually fell through, I went to see the reading and then went out with him afterwards, which was totally wonderful. Lee met up with us and we did major catching up. The best news is the Gabe is going to start working in the box/as house manager at La Mama! Amazing.

Though that reminds me of all the anxiety that's creeping into my daily life about my planned trip to Boston for the month of May. The specific anxiety that comes with the phrase "I'll see if I can get out of work that night/day/week/month" is a kind that I don't like at all. Not one bit.

And now, today. Work, and then a grant-seeking workshop with Katy, and then hopefully, if the stars align in my favor, seeing Slaughterhouse-Five at 59E59. It involves perfect timing, the MTA being sweet to me, retrieving my student ID, and pulling a scam. As usual.

I am realizing anew that life is much better when I am working. Working on my own stuff, I mean. It is better to work. Yes.

Also, being in the rehearsal for Wargasm made me remember just how much I like acting and how I want to do it, uh, now.

What a life. Right?