Upstate worms will eat my head.

After an unequivocally terrible night at work, I treated myself to the movies and went to the Sunshine to see 'Synechdoche, New York.' Though my coworked warned me that I was completely insane, and called me a 'freak' for going on such an emotionally fraught evening, I thought it seemed like a good idea. In the end, it was. I really liked the movie, though I didn't love it in the intense way I do, say, Eternal Sunshine. Phillip Seymour Hoffman (aka 'the fat guy from 'Twister,'' right, Rinnz?) was fucking great, as I figured he would be-- I mean, so was everybody. I don't know how anybody acts in a movie, to be quite honest, and I don't know how anybody acts in a movie like this. I think it'll be a long long long time before I can ever be halfway decent on screen. This isn't really based on anything. But but but, the performances were really, really wonderful...two of the weirdest movies I've seen this year both starred Samantha Morton, and I might be in love with her. She's so strange. Jennifer Jason Leigh showed up briefly as an evil lady with huge boobs and a fake German accent. Amazing. The 'Schenectady' of the movie bore no resemblance to the real thing-- I laughed when someone said something about catering to 'blue-hair suburban regional theatregoers,' because there aren't too many of those in Schenec....but then again, there's no modern, beautiful theatre complex, either, and no one staging weird, avant-garde shows in big venues which attract large, paying audiences, either. But I'm no complaining, I'm really not. The Schenectady of the movie looked like a pretty darn nice place to live. (My one question for Charlie K. would be-- why did you not choose to use the real Schenec zip code 12345 when you showed us their address??!?!?! Chance of a LIFETIME, sir!)

ANYWAY. It was super long, there was a couple AGGRESSIVELY making out sitting in front of me, and some know-it-alls were driving me nuts afterward- but on the whole, it was a really satisfying antidote to sadness. Even though it was really sad.

After the movie, I slogged to the First Avenue L station, where I wound up embroiled in some bizarre subway talk with the three guys sitting around me. One works with Emma at a restaurant, and so I felt safe accepting part of a cookie he offered me. THIS IS WHY I CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHEN I AM ALONE. Why do I put this stuff on the internet? Do I want people to think I'm an idiot? There was a lot of solidarity-speak re: how much the subway sucks, a brief discussion abt. rat kings (I'm a one-trick pony), and a lot of nervous laughter on my part.

Speaking of me being an idiot, I'd like to point out that I've passed the one-year anniversary of getting blackout drunk and losing my purse in the LES, and I'd like to pat myself on the back. I think I can almost laugh about it now....?

It's snowing out now, and everything looks beautiful. I wish I could stay in and be cozy all day. I make a trek to the bagel place down the street where I enjoyed a "candy peppermint" bagel, which was striped red and white and essentially tasted like it had candy canes ground up in it. Um, yum.

I'm going home on Tuesday morning. I'm glad.

Charlie Kaufman!! You harsh master.